ANALYN

The Dancer

3/11/2019

Introducing you all to: Ms Eileen Right
Like many disabled people, Analyn has struggled to find herself in societies small box of beauty standards. Seeking out beauty in all body types, Analyn decided to take up Burlesque dancing as a big "eff you!" to all of the people who have made her feel less than worthy.
For her last burlesque show, Analyn writes:
“Practicing for the next burlesque show... When I decided to do this I was doing it for others. To show that disabled is beautiful, to show body positivity. I wanted people to see me and go “if she can maybe so can I”. For this upcoming show I’m doing it for me.
I’m doing it because I see every single ripple in my reconstructed breast and I’m trying so hard to love them. I’m trying to embrace this limp that goes with one leg and high heels. I’m trying to see a different kind of grace that comes with a clumsiness I didn’t ask for.
I’m doing it because my body simply doesn’t work the same as it did before all the chemo and early menopause and I need the time and space to fall back in love with it.
When you see me in stage next week know that as much as I dance to entertain you, I dance even more to love me."

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The Foobs

3/11/2019

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Analyn now refers to her breasts as her "Foobs". And, just so you know, it's NOT a compliment to tell her, or any other cancer patient, that she's so lucky to have perky breasts for the rest of her life.
Cancer meant weaning her daughter abruptly from breastfeeding. Taking away two of the most sacred vessels of connection and nourishment, with no time to grieve or slowly wean both herself and her daughter.
It was heartbreaking and traumatic on top of everything else she's had to lose.
After the double mastectomy, tissue expanders were put in to stretch the muscle and tissue in her breasts to eventually house silicone implants. These were uncomfortable, very hard and unnatural because the shells of expanders are much harder than their implant counterparts.

I met with Analyn at the hotel where she was staying (she doesn't live in the city), prior to her appointment. She was looking forward to having the expanders taken out, she was nervous, she was excited.
With her throughout the day were these 2 bracelets:
"I brought these bracelets with me to help keep me calm and grounded. To remind myself of all the love that has carried me through to this point. One was given to me by The Healing Hollow at the start of this journey, and the other by my sister-in-law."
And one might think this would be the finale for this leg of the journey.
But, nope. That's not how this cancer game works. Analyn will never be "back to normal".

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The Survivor

3/11/2019

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I first met Analyn at UBC Hospital, right before going in to have her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed.
Analyn has tested positive for the BRCA1 gene mutation. About 1.3% of women in the general population will develop ovarian cancer at some point in their lives. When you have a BRCA1 gene mutation the risk goes up to 44% that you will develop ovarian cancer by the age of 80.
She opted to have this preventative surgery, as well as opting to have a double mastectomy vs just removing the one cancerous breast, given her history with cancer and the type of breast cancer she was diagnosed with (Triple Negative Breast Cancer).

It was clear from her interactions with care providers that this wasn't her first rodeo.
She had no issues advocating for herself. Years of being in and out of hospitals and treatments will do that to a person.
It's not a hat that Analyn wants to wear, but, she wasn't left with a choice in the matter.
That's the thing with cancer - it doesn't give you a choice -when you're fighting for your life - it forces you to be a survivor.

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The Story

3/6/2019

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At the age of 14, in the summer of 1997, she began feeling pain in her right leg that felt off to her. The sensation was different than growing pains, but that’s what it was diagnosed as. A couple of months later, she was pushed playing basketball and her knee swelled up and didn’t go back down. Back to the Dr she went where the pain was then diagnosed as a sports injury and Analyn was sent off to physio.
After a couple of more months of extreme pain (so much pain that she actually asked her Mom to cut her leg off) she was finally sent for an x-ray and ultrasound. When the results came back, they were looking at a 90% chance that it was cancer. At 14 years old. It was indeed bone cancer and she opted for an amputation so that she could live a normal life.
Analyn says that the experience was surreal. At the time, she was into all the teen drama books and was actually reading a book about a girl who had bone cancer.

She goes on to say that being young and facing cancer had its benefits because she really didn’t explore her own mortality and the seriousness of it all. She took things day by day. It was hard on her family. They were a blended family and her brother was 3, her sister only 4 months old at the time. Analyn reflects that she has no idea how her Mom did it and that as a family, she’s not sure that they really processed and healed from the whole experience.
Being diagnosed with Breast Cancer is hard for anyone, but, for Analyn, it meant facing cancer for the second time and unearthing some heavy realizations about her first round with it.
PTSD is very common amongst cancer survivors, and, as Analyn recovers physically from her double mastectomy and reconstruction she’s faced with not only the trauma from that, but, also all of the old trauma that her 14 year old self smiled away and took day by day.

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The Why

3/6/2019

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Meet Analyn.
She is many things: Mother, Doula, Amputee, Burlesque performer, PNW Dweller and she has kicked cancers ass. Twice.
So often we follow people through their cancer journey, we buy our coloured ribbons, donate to various charities, ride our bikes and say Fuck Cancer. Which are all amazing ways to show support.
But, what happens after that last round of chemo? What happens when the hair starts growing back? When the physical scars start to heal?

These stories don’t end when the cancer is conquered. And I’m honoured to be meeting Analyn where she is at now. I hope to shed light on the physical and emotional journey of surviving cancer, and to showcase who she is outside of being the Woman who has lost her leg, breasts, ovaries and fallopian tubes to cancer. How facing her own mortality has shaped her approach to life today and all of the in betweens.

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ANALYN

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